Class 9: The Day I Discovered a Writer Who Made Me Laugh (and Think)

Back in Class 9, my Hindi teacher told me to start reading chapter 3, Upbhoktavad Ki Sanskriti from Kshitij book aloud. I was known as the fastest reader in class; no stumbles, no pauses, just straight-up speed reading. But that day? That day was different.

The moment I started, I felt something unusual; I was actually enjoying it. The humor, the satire, the sheer genius of Shyamacharan Dubey pulled me in. His words weren’t just words; they were witty punches, sharp observations, and a mirror held up to society.

For the first time, instead of racing to the last line, I slowed down. I laughed at his sarcasm, appreciated his perspective, and more importantly, I understood what he was saying. This wasn’t just another essay; this was a prophecy wrapped in humor, and even today, it sits perfectly with our modern world.

The Modern Religion: "Thou Shalt Consume!"

Years later, everything Dubey wrote feels truer than ever.

  • Your toothpaste isn’t just a toothpaste; it’s a magic formula approved by the gods of dental care.
  • Your soap isn’t just a soap; it’s a celebrity-endorsed elixir promising eternal freshness.
  • Your watch isn’t just a timepiece; it’s a status symbol that whispers, "Look at me, I’m rich!"

Dubey saw this consumerist madness coming decades ago. And now? We’re living in his well-predicted future, where people spend ₹50,000 on a phone but cry over a ₹10 price hike in milk.

The Illusion of "Happiness" Through Shopping

  • Need self-care? There’s a self-care shopping haul for that.
  • Feeling sad? Retail therapy has got your back (and your wallet).
  • Want to look rich? Buy a limited edition sneaker you’ll wear twice before it’s "last season."

In Dubey’s words,
 "भोग की आकांक्षाएँ आसमान को छू रही हैं।"
 (Our desire to consume is reaching the skies.)

But does this actually make us happier? Or just more broke?

 

The Social Media Effect: Turning Us Into Products

Today, consumerism is no longer limited to things, we ourselves have become the product.

  • Instagram sells your attention to advertisers.
  • LinkedIn sells your professionalism to recruiters.
  • Even your data is monetized, making you a customer and a product at the same time.

Dubey wrote,
 "हम आधुनिकता के झूठे प्रतिमान अपनाते जा रहे हैं।"
 (We are chasing fake versions of modernity.)

If he were alive today, he’d be nodding in disappointment... but probably also laughing.

 

From Status Symbols to Five-Star Funerals (Yes, That’s a Thing!)

  • We don’t just want a good meal; we want a five-star dining experience.
  • We don’t just want a decent school; we want a five-star education.
  • And guess what? Now you can even book a five-star funeral because, obviously, the afterlife deserves luxury too!

Dubey once joked about America’s "premium burial services" well, guess what? It’s happening in India now. You can pre-book your grave with manicured lawns and background music.

Because, as Dubey rightly observed,
 "मरने के बाद भी दिखावा ज़रूरी है!" (Even in death, status matters.)

 

Final Thoughts: "Are We Buying More or Being Bought?"

Shyamacharan Dubey wasn’t just a writer; he was a visionary. His humor wasn’t just for laughs—it was a warning. But here we are, still running on the consumerist treadmill, chasing things we don’t need, buying things we can’t afford, and measuring happiness in price tags instead of real moments.

As Dubey questioned,
 "मर्यादाएँ टूट रही हैं, नैतिक मानदंड ढीले पड़ रहे हैं। व्यक्ति केंद्रकता बढ़ रही है, स्वार्थ परमार्थ पर हावी हो रहा है। भोग की आकांक्षाएँ आसमान को छू रही हैं। किस बिंदु पर रुकेगी यह दौड़?"
 (Moral boundaries are breaking, self-interest is overpowering humanity, and our desires for indulgence are touching the skies. Where will this race stop?)

This isn’t just a line, it’s a wake-up call.

We’re not just consuming anymore; we’re being consumed. So, the next time an ad tells you "You need this!", take a pause and ask:

"Do I really?"

Because in the end, Dubey was right. And unfortunately, we’re proving him right every single day.

Credits:

Inspired by Shyamacharan Dubey’s "Upbhoktavad Ki Sanskriti"
 📖 NCERT Hindi, Kshitij, Class 9